I am suddenly realizing everything. Everything falls into place. May be it was just infatuation. Or may be just the lack of something else to do. Anyway it is passé, especially since my bday, I always thought it could be either of the two things, one- that I was actually in love and bull shit, two- that it was just the need of the age, u see ..just like wanting a first rank, a good engineering college, a good job etc. The strange part is that it started for me before anyone else, I refused it, I thought it was something taboo and not to be done, since no one else was doing it. Haha! But now everyones hooked, me left out! Actually today marks the day that I am officially the last of my ‘Kind’ to remain Single! Sometimes it is sad, actually very sad, but I am seriously in no mood of getting hooked to any of the guys they are showing me! Man! are you serious! I can’t even imagine a conversation.

Strangely I always was the ‘Rab ne bana di Jodi’ and ‘Vivah’ believer, but now I know that it is nice only because of Shah rukh and Shahid J as lame as it may sound. May be all the shit was for a reason or no reason at all, who knows? God? Since childhood I lived with the fear of God! Now I am a little free I think, may be it is a bad thing, considering the fact that there are other more dangerous things that can happen to people, I agree! And that’s precisely the reason why the belief is still there. But I see some unfair things happening around me, ( or things that I think are unfair for the moment), like a girl like ‘a’ who was nothing ,when I mean nothing ..i mean nothing! Gets a beautiful family!

My parents are sad, so eventually that makes me sad.They think that it is my poor career that brings bad grooms for a happy life, or now even my age J. What can I do? I did not think in the first place ‘of a career’ when I was studying + did not think that where I work will affect my ‘Groom quality’+ that by this age I should ne engaged or married+ all of my friends will be by then.

We never get to know these things in life? Will there be anyone to tell us all these things? There should be actually. Why does god exist then? I know that I do not have any major problems or issues in life, I lead a very good, healthy life! Thanks to God! Yes I am thank full for all the family health. But deep down inside I know that I am good, capable and looneys around me are doing good y? I don’t just mean marriage..the things on my bucket list, eg- Flying abroad- I don’t see that happening , but a colleague from my own sucky company went! Is that strange. Friends around me again loonies are getting grooms!

These things are worrying me lately. Whom to ask? Bloody hell of a sister I have..I do not understand is her not being at home is what makes me jealous or the very fact that she has so many friends? Just like the Jaane tu ya jaane na case. So the problems I have right now are, Need to change job, Fly, Make parents proud, That, marriage, Her, hmmmm that’s al! That’s all ? that is pretty much everything! Haha..but one thing i have is family health. I will not blame god for it. But if you exist please show me the direction to solve any of the above problems. Writing will not help I know. But I just read that book and it inspired me to write , so here I am.

I used to write it in a diary before, but now is the time for blogging. My secret blog almost speaks my heart!

Dance the night away
Live your life and stay out on the floor
Dance the night away
Grab somebody drink a little more
La la la la la la la la la la la la la la

Humming the same tune?
The latest and newest hit doing the rounds, right from all night clubs to the MTV movie awards..Jennifer Lopez Ft. Pitbull- On the floor!! UK number one single!
What is it about this song that rings a bell? The tune isnt it? have we heard it before? yes. Many times.. This tune has been used in several songs till now. Everyone claiming that it is theirs..
Heard our very own Bappi Lahiri accusing J Lo for having copied his tune.. He seems to think that the tune that goes along with the 'La la la' in the song is copied from his tune from one of his movies.
Itseems that people to have forgotten the original Brazilian Lambada song from which all these songs are inspired!
Some indians are actually going on to say that now international singers are eyeing our tunes! woah!Bappi da even plans to email J Lo! :)

Another thing about this song is its uncanny similarity with the songs of the Romanian singer Edward maya.. more so his song 'Stereo Love'..im talking about the way the song is structured.

Eventually the song is a mix of edward maya's mayaism with the classic lambada tune interspersed into it and adding a lil bit of Pitbull rap. End result is a very catchy number. What it lacks is originality in terms of structure and tune.Nevertheless everyone seems to enjoy it.
Sad that the judge of 'THE American Idol is churning out such mediocre numbers, guess now her music also will not cost a thing! :)

its still on! but i realise i am being funny and stupid about it! haha..Situation: birthday..no call..online on gtalk.. haha! u need more proof???? if u do then ur a FOOL! go to a doctor! immediately..only problem is i had to go through this! y i dun understand where did i get weak? haha! i knew this at the back of my mind! Actually in the retrospect..Its nice to know people this way..this feeling..how it is so nice..how it is so not true..so tough..how tough it must be for others..i can understand some people now! clearer picture of lifE! as they say everything is for good..u become more experienced! it did help me mature as a person! :)

It is funny how i am expecting. Even tried the testing thingy..with other guys..damn still full ON! Wonder when i ll stop seriously..There is Zilch signal ..forget signal no communication from the other side haha..still the mind wants it ..craves for it actually..sometimes i wonder if it just physical..but no i realise NO!

There might be the same feeling the other side too! wow! i wish! but i am never gonna EVER know!EVER! Wanted to give it a shot and went out wandering with others of the same species, may be i will forget, i will go back ! TEST FAILED! :) Still its him! The hilarious part is that its so damn one way traffic but still theres hope. I guess because we as humans only wish and hope for the IMpossible..

Keep staring at the FB page will not help..SERIOUSLY! He looks like a joker, UGLY in some actually..Dopes! DAMN! but all that doesnt matter..itseems! Haha Till when ! lets see.. I sometimes think it is a state of mind..may be it is..but then it should fade away right? FADE DAMN IT FADE!!

Still it fades i will continue to analyse, scrutinize etc..tel others and actually try reducing the stress on the brain! If there is someone else then please come fast ..this is killing me! I have to stop thinking ! Will try!

Life is tough to understand! seriously! i always thought i was different..now i understand im no "Princess" ..It tough to accept the fact that one for whom you have feelings doent think of u the same way! the SAME OLD! AGE OLD problem! damn it..i was always different in this case uptill now...college and graduation..seen others into this thought it was "Funny" ...always thought it is the need of the age! I am into spirituality ..and always knew that all this was just what the AGE was doing!!! Laughed at others! but around last year sumthing hit me! DAMN still there!!! Strange! how suddenly u listen to Romantic songs, start crying for no reason! Everything the SAD hindi movies show came TRUE! Suddenly, you start believing SHIT that any movie shows!
Strange!
When friends used to talk about it, thought they are crazy! they meet one today and another the next day! thats not how it should be!!
Its like damn sad, when you know, its only your time, energy that goes in searching for signs!!
Everymove, you start judging, whether it is a signal! and spoil everything!
It is just some passing DAMN CLOUD!! Plz pass fast!
Waiting since mannnnyy months! Doesnt pass!!!
Truth is! Again AGE!!! it should pass off! how the hell was i living before HIM! i was normal no? live the same way! We need to crack this age old SHIT!! Im gonna be the one to initiate this Stupid Drive!! :P
Before: With friends, i dun care whos talking to whom, dont bother to miss anyone! dont miss anyone! Party go home! no NOTHING!
Now: with friends, damn y is he talking to her, where is he, a cloud of sadness descends each time i see him talking to another girl,realizing BYE is the saddest thing ever invented by GOD!


I have never missed anyone in my life!!! (of course leaving mum dad n sis, they never can be out of my sight) I am not the person who can make any kind of close relationship with anyone outside home! Never had emotions ! like missing, jealousy, nuthing..in fact sis always teases me saying that u will never have close frds!
I just wud never show emotion!

THEN BAM! all of a sudden of all people , one person u start to miss! u want to be with all the time, want to think about all the time!! Y??
It is a sad state of affairs for me to realise that i am just another one in the HERD!
But there are two ways of looking at it, One: Being practical, as in just because u don have one, now , the age so may be just a wish! after all i am human!
Two: MAy be sumthin like "@@##" exists , who knows! otherwise why should suddenly it change, only for one person.

I mean no one can answer this question! no one ever has!!
untill then , vented out the confusion!
Sigh!
Tada:)

We Judge!

We Judge!!
No matter what the situation in Life or People we meet , we Judge!
Life as we know it, is filled with situations and People, at all circumstances we judge. We judge as to how a person looks, what he does for a living etc.
We live in a Hypocritical world(where ever i say 'we' it refers to me also) here we talk about how we should not differentiate between the upper /lower class, blacks/whites, rich/poor etc, but when it comes to our own decisions we judge people, our decisions/reactions/interest varies from person to person ..y? here im not talking about our near and dear ones, but the other people we meet in our life, may be friends, colleagues, or even ur Life partner.
We behave differently to different people, this is unknowingly, but the fact is that we tend to (as human beings) speak more obligingly , sweetly, friendly'ly' to those people who we think are above us, this 'Above' can be anything again. Definition of 'Above'- in looks, power, money etc.
To many this blog may seem 'Outrageous' but accept it guys! cummon.
How many of us 'cajole' our acquaintances, if we know that they are going to bring us some benefit. Why only acquaintances , even friends, we are different with some frds..and casual with some.
We think how to behave with some people, we decide how we will portray ourselves to them.
They why do we create a huge hue and cry if someone passes a racial comment, or a fairness cream advertisement? Is Inequality okay if the size of it is small???
From ages we have been fighting, the difference between Brahmanas and shudras, to Untouchables..
It would be Ideal to have a Clear mind devoid of any differentiation. That is actually Sainthood!
We are not saints! we are normal human beings who pretend to be good, think we are good! Always trying to Believe that we are Good!!
We know that 'money cant but happiness' and all those famous quotes! but why is it that a Mercedes/or a person in a mercedes attracts our attention than a person in a rickshaw??

Having said all this!! i would like to believe that though we are mundane and unequal(without our knowledge) we still strive to be that GOOD person!! that is the Beauty of the human life!
That is the beauty of LIVING!!!

Mondays! This is the day everyone likes... errr likes??? i mean hates. What is it about monday s that is so annoying for any working individual? actually it is sunday evening blues, not even monday.Fridays are always good, a feel good day in the week. There is a situation with a certain degree of difficulty, this can always be dealt with more efficiently on a friday rather than a monday. The feeling always is like "Oh!wateva, any ways its Friday tomoro"
Human emotions are actually controlled by just some random days !! just a monday or a saturday can make things different.We always think we will do "this " and "that" on this weekend. but end up with a very lazy saturday morning(ya ! some people donot get to experience that also), late lunch cum Breakfast cum snack, then may be go out or catch up with a movie on the idiot box.
Sundays are generally planned , but only 5% of the actual plan works out!
Again we end up with a lousy sunday evening with the thought that we did not do anything that we planned over the weekend. We start over , once again with a monday, hoping for a Friday with all the tuesdays and wednesdays in between them!